IT ISNT ENOUGH

Our conversation started out strong and it ended up so thin. How could this shoe box get in between? Beats me but at least i talked to her. Another day = Another Disappointment. Doubt fills my head. Is it better for you to leave my heart or my head?
Maybe both, maybe non. As the minutes slow down the meter keeps running. The whore of time is always counting and always charging your sins. It doesn't matter how much girls and pussy I get at the very last moment of the day (the moment before you go to bed), the one in which you meditate on the things you did or said. I feel so lonely despite all the pleasure i get and i don't know what to do. If God could please just give me a hand. A little help would be nice. I admit it. I don't want be lonely anymore. I want to live at best. At last i want to live. Really live life as it was meant to be lived. I want to be able to say : I don't care what I'll do today as long as you are there with me. I still have hope. I have found a girl thats worth my last breath. A girl that deserves my best and i intend to give it to her if she gives me a chance to prove myself. I just hate it when you never know her intentions with you. Last night i went to bed depressed. Like rock bottom down. But tonight, yes tonight, I'll go to bed with a purpose to get up the next morning. The never dying hope that everyone else tries to kill but God puts it back in us, cause he knows what's best. I like to believe that this will work out and that my life would get back on track. It actually makes me wonder:
Could this be the one?
Is it too late to try?
Have i lost my mind somewhere along the line?
What if it doesn't love you back?
What if I can't love at all?
Maybe it's just like in the stars: From dust we come and to dust we will return.
My dusty young heart is pounding eagerly waiting for answers that wont come at last. It was never meant to be this way. It was never meant to be this way. It was never meant to be this way, but it is And I'm slowly learning that fact. I don't like what i see in this world. Hatred between brothers. Guns, diseases and others. Corruption and war. The killing and the stealing. The suicide men and airplanes. Technology was made by the devil. Vile and vicious thoughts in the mind of the youngs. Love and Hope almost nowhere to be found. And here I lay silently at the very End of the World with no other words than I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we are all dying. I'm sorry for the problems I've caused you. I'm sorry for all the trophies i never brought home. I'm sorry for all the times i stood there watching an injustice. I'm sorry for all injustice. I'm sorry because the depression got the best of me. I'm sorry for the times hatred filled my heart. I'm sorry for the way I'm living my life. I'm sorry because I'm not your favorite one. I'm sorry for your loss of all those good people that were once by your side. I'm sorry because I know sorry Isn't enough.