YOU FUCKING DISSAPOINT ME

Wanting to do something, anything to turn this around but i can't. It's not in my hands, it's not my choice. I find myself screaming through my eyes. Sitting on my ass i'll get nothing done. Either way i'm fucked. Maybe we are better off this way. Maybe not. I wish that it were easier. I wish it were different. Someone stabbed me in the back. And i know who it was. I'm returning to my roots of hatred and anger. The one that got me into so much trouble. What can i do? There's nothing i can do. My hope is shattered once more. My last hope. I've nothing left in me to give. The little good, self reliance, pride, confidence it has all gone away. Now i know for sure that i'll never be like them. I can't get satisfied. I always want something more. That's not good at all. I turned my friendly hand into a fist. Fury, revenge, hate: that's all i can feel now. Sarcasm's knocking on my door. I can't make anything right. I always fuck things up, with my friends, with the univ, with my family, with my girl. I'm stuck in a hole so big that i might never get out. The deja vu of my life. I always know what's going to happen, i just don't always accept it. I am not wanted nor needed anymore. My girl left me alone once more.